Football-loving children are waking up to unconfined joy across Europe as their parents finally confirmed that they will be able to watch the group stage of next year’s European Championships, after the news that UEFA had handed Wayne Rooney a three-match ban.
The verdict, announced this morning, shocked absolutely no-one and meant that fans can start planning to enjoy a start to the tournament with slightly less on-pitch verbal abuse and tantrums.
One devoted England supporter and father admitted, “It’ll be nice to be able to enjoy the games before the quarter-finals with the family. If Rooney was there, my wife would have insisted we go outside instead of watch them for fear of the children kicking each other for absolutely no reason.
“Now they’ll be able to watch the England matches and focus on the quality of the football.
“That’s not going to work actually, is it?”
Former captain and current pundit Alan Shearer insisted that Fabio Capello should pick Rooney anyway, despite his persistent lack of maturity when assaulting opponents.
“When I was playing for England and frustrated at losing possession, I would have waited to go in for a header – probably after an aimless hoof from Sol Campbell – and subtly planted my elbow in a defender’s eye-socket,” Shearer noted.
“Wayne showed again he doesn’t have the patience for those opportunities, and that’s very disappointing.
“However, England don’t reach the same level of overconfidence without Rooney. He simply has to go or there’s a danger that we might not develop any ludicrous expectations whatsoever.
“He must now prepare to come in at the quarter-final stage and humiliate himself and the nation immediately.
“But that’s what Wayne Rooney does and I’m sure he won’t let us down.”
No comments:
Post a Comment