Gadaffi family undergoing Arsenal medical

Reports are emerging that Colonel Gadaffi and his clan have secretly made their way to the Emirates stadium in the hope of completing a switch to beleaguered north London side, Arsenal.

The news means that Arsene Wenger has been forced into a suitable knee-jerk reaction to strengthen his squad after the mauling at Old Trafford.

“I don’t wish to comment on that, but let’s just say that Algeria will be shocked and disappointed,” Wenger smirked.

“We are looking for players with a bit of determination and backbone, so who better than a tyrannical dictator and his clan?”

“To be honest, right now I’d take anyone instead of Denilson and Armand Traore.”

Gadaffi in Gunners switch

Despite the obvious ethical complications, many fans have reacted positively to the possibility of a new signing with such an world-wide reputation.

“We’re not sure if he knows what football is, but at least we’ve signed someone,” revealed Rick Thomas from north London.

“Having proved he can stand up to both NATO and much of his own country, I think that kind of steel is exactly what our squad needs.”

“Of course some might question the morals of it, but if QPR can sign Joey Barton, then why can’t we snap up a mass-murderer who’s wanted dead by almost everyone on the planet?”

http://newsthump.com/2011/08/30/gadaffi-family-undergoing-arsenal-medical/

Manchester capital of English football

An exciting day's football in the Premier League saw both Manchester United and Manchester City pull off remarkable wins in the two big clashes.

City visited Spurs early in the afternoon and completely dominated their hosts to claim a spectacular 5-1 victory, with Edin Dzeko hitting four in the rout.

That was followed by United welcoming Arsenal later on, and giving them a thorough pounding. The pressure on Arsene Wenger grew substantially as his team was shredded time and again, United surging to a 8-2 demolition including a Wayne Rooney hat-trick.

Those results put United first and City second, both with maximum points after three games and looking good for the season ahead.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1151389

Irene blows herself out

Hurricane Irene has been downgraded to a tropical storm as strong winds have hit New York and much of the US east coast.

Fears among the government in the last week resulted in calls for everyone to evacuate who was in the path of Irene.

However, it seems that conditions are not nearly as bad as was expected, with advice revised to suggest that anyone remaining in the area should stay put.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1138067

Vettel eases to yet another win

Sebastian Vettel coasted to another win in the Belgian Grand Prix to extend his championship lead even further.

After a very eventful start, Nico Rosberg overtook the Red Bull driver, with Mark Webber and Jenson Button struggling, and Lewis Hamilton soon crashing out.

That brought out the safety car which resulted in both Red Bulls swiftly moving into the top two positions, which they held all the way to the chequered flag.

Button's late surge saw him take third place from Fernando Alonso, but that did little to distract from Vettel's slick victory, and his huge lead in the drivers' standings.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1151228

Welbeck stars for United

Manchester United responded to rivals Manchester City's impressive performance against Bolton on Sunday by beating Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 on Monday night at Old Trafford.

After a cagey and goalless first half, Danny Welbeck opened the scoring with a towering header before Anderson and Rooney completed a comfortable victory which puts them level at the top.

Critics were already favouring City to claim this season's title, but United's performance sees them installed as the team to beat.

Liverpool beat Arsenal 2-0 at the Emirates to maintain hope of a more successful season this time round.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1139325

Your punditry career looks like being the same as your England career, viewers tell Gary Neville

Football fans have responded to Gary Neville’s claim that his England career was a ‘waste of time’ by arguing that his fledgling career as a pundit is going much the same way.

Despite giving his all in his performances so far this season which have showcased his technical ability, most Sky Sports viewers have found themselves longing for Andy Gray to return -much to their own horror.

“We know that he’s got the heart and the passion, but he’s lacking that something special which would make him a winner,” explained disgruntled Peterborough fan Bob Thomas.

“The Premier League is exciting and full of skill, but I can’t see him making any progress for the next decade at least.”

“He tries his best, but me and my mates would still rather go on holiday to Tripoli than have to listen to him droning on at half-time.”

“You can tell he’s struggling and fearing the consequences of being outfoxed by Jamie Redknapp in the analysis box.”

Neville commentary a ‘waste of time’

In his autobiography Neville has revealed his disappointment at the treatment he’s received, just in case someone actually buys it.

“Pulling on your Monday Night Football suit and discussing the merits of a diamond formation with Ray Wilkins should be one of the best moments of your life,” he writes.

“But sometimes you question if you’re enjoying the ride. And I dread to think how the viewers feel.”

“We’re caught between being good, potentially very good, and as boring as Everton in the first half of the season.”

A spokesperson for Sky Sports concluded, “The Premier League years have seen a rise in technique and skills and intelligence, but that improvement won’t work it’s way into the studio overnight.”

“In fact, as Neville so perfectly illustrates, it might never get there at all.”

http://newsthump.com/2011/08/22/your-punditry-career-looks-like-being-the-same-as-your-england-career-viewers-tell-gary-neville/

Battle for Tripoli

The battle for the Libyan capital, Tripoli, is ongoing as rebel forces continue their attack on the defiant pro-Gaddafi forces.

After taking other key cities nearby, the rebels advanced against the dictator's stronghold, transporting resources to aid fighters in what could be the key battle.

Both sides have made claims of success, but it seems that the situation will remain unresolved for some time as each has significant support.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1120180

Reaction to Red Arrows crash fatality

Flt Lt Jon Egging, 33, has died in an accident involving his Red Arrows plane after a display at Bournemouth Air Festival.

A statement from Dorset police announced he had been pronounced dead at the scene having been thrown from the aircraft.

His wife released a statement in which she paid tribute to her husband's personality and professionalism, and similar sentiments were expressed by Defence Secretary Liam Fox.

The authorities are now investigating the incident urgently in order to deduce how this tragedy occurred.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1134841

Source:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14602900

Fabregas thanks Wenger

Cesc Fabregas, who finally completed his move from Arsenal to Barcelona on Monday, has made clear that he appreciates everything that his former manager and club have done for him and his career.

The Spaniard joined the Gunners when he was sixteen after training as a youngster with Barcelona, and has spent several years as one of the key players in the squad, many of them as captain.

However, it was only a matter of time until he returned to Catalonia, with transfer rumours becoming a perennial nuisance during the last couple of seasons.

He was greeted by thousands of delighted fans at the Nou Camp, but despite his impressive ability as a midfielder, Cesc faces a real struggle to fight his way into the first team, such is the quality of the European champions.


http://thenewsportal.net/?p=1122630

Theresa May defends handling of Joey Barton situation

Home Secretary Theresa May has defended the government’s approach to the police handling of Joey Barton after another weekend of mindless violence against Arsenal.

Senior police staff have criticised ministers for inconsistency over the guidance issued on how fiercely to deal with the midfield rioter, currently playing for Newcastle United.

A defiant May said, “We have to learn lessons from the way the latest outbreak has been allowed to persist.”

“It’s clear that the public want tough action, and in the future we’ll have to ensure that the police know what is expected of them in the Barton context.”

“On a positive note, the start of the Premier League has shifted the unrest from the streets onto the pitch, thereby containing it somewhat.”

Barton violence simmering

After gaining control in London and Birmingham after a week of riots, it seemed that the police were too stretched to deal with football matches across the country, as hundreds of bored young men like Barton unleashed their frustration at having had nothing to do all summer.

“Sometimes we feel like we’re between a Northern Rock and a hard place,” explained Charlie Garrett of Northumbria police.

“If we take him in we’re accused of excessive force, and if we don’t he ends up strangling someone in front of thousands of fans.”

“We understand that we have to clamp down. If possible we’ll block his Twitter account, which seems to be the main cause of the trouble.”

http://newsthump.com/2011/08/15/theresa-may-defends-handling-of-joey-barton-situation/